Blogging will be slow again for the next couple of days as I will be backpacking on an island off the Pacific coast.

You can expect regular posts after that, including the Colorado travelogue and snaps, that are still lying unprocessed, not that anyone is eagerly awaiting any of it.

.. Baba Ramdev, for not taking the Delhi HC decision on homosexuality too well.

Firstly, my bad when I mentioned that Baba Ramdev could not cure homosexuality, hence his challenge to the Delhi HC’s decision. Turns out, he can cure it with pranayam, yoga and meditation.

As usual, he is right. Excessive pranayam, yoga and meditation is known to cure not just homosexuality, but also heterosexuality.

Go baba go !

Guess who could have quoted this :

If any person lifts a hand against the pigs, or thinks they are weak, there is nobody behind them, then I swear on the Porky Pig that I will cut off their hands.

Yes, baby Varun’s mom Maneka Gandhi, who incidentally prefers calling her son peta instead of  beta, is responsible for this hate speech, or something to that effect.

Just as a side trivia, for a long time, I used to assume the acronym PETA, like some other similar acronyms, stood for Prevention of Ethical Treatment to Animals.

If there was one thing that lead to an unprecedented religious unanimity, it is the Delhi HC judgement on 377. While I don’t mind religious heads ranting on television (that is what news channels are for), I find this piece quite disturbing, if not just hilarious :

Yoga guru Baba Ramdev, 44, is set to assume the posture of a litigant. In his first step, Ramdev will move the Supreme Court on Wednesday, seeking quashing of a Delhi high court judgment that empowered at least 26 lakh practitioners called gays and lesbians to live as they want without the fear of an archaic law that prohibits their sexual orientation.

I can only assume that the person who found the cure for AIDS hasn’t been too successful at curing homosexuality, hence the court. But for someone who is a self-confessed yogi, who ideally should have nothing to do with sex, let alone gay sex, I don’t understand his interest in the issue. Worse is his followers are going to be influenced by this stand.

If not sense, I atleast expect sensibility.

One more trip, a few more 14ers, another hiatus.

After a long day of missing and catching flights and buses within spans of minutes, I am currently hosted in the mile high city, Denver, Colorado. My second time in Colorado for hiking, and it looks as beautiful as ever, like the Himalayas and Alps together.

I was not expecting to read this piece of news when I woke up.

Indeed a historic day for sexual minorities and activists fighting for their rights.

I find immense irony in the fact that while frogs and trees are married to each other to please the rain gods in all religious glory, sexual minorities aren’t even recognized, forget being allowed to marry.

Where else can you find such bizarreness ?

There were quite a few gay pride parades in India this weekend, which were moderate successes. Meanwhile, the issue over 377 lies pending in the Delhi HC and should be coming up for hearing in July. The law minister M. Oily (or Moily) was initially in favour of a review of the archaic law, but later chickened out as reactions started pouring in.

The government has, instead, called for a debate on the issue :

On Sunday, Moily sounded more cautious. He told reporters in Thiruvananthapuram that concerns of all section of society, including religious leaders, will be taken into account.

This makes as much sense as Sidhu’s metaphors.

Now among vocal protestors are religious and political conservatives :

The Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP) has opposed any dilution in section 377. The VHP’s Delhi unit spokesman, Vinod Bansal, said: “It [homosexuality] is against the culture and family system in India. It will result in the spread of a number of diseases.”

and death by diease, as we know, is a strict no-no. Death, however, by a trishul during riots is kosher.

Jamiat Ulema-e-Hind, a leading body of Muslims in the country, said the repeal of section 377 would create “sexual anarchy” in society.

Given the current plight of Muslims and the percentage of terrorists being Muslims, I would be glad if such distractions were introduced.

The Church has also opposed the move. “The Church’s stand on the issue has always been clear. For us it is an unnatural act, against the divine law. We will definitely oppose it,”

unless, of course, sodomy involves religious figures.

The BJP also voiced its reservations. Party leader Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi said: “We are living in India, not in an European country.”

and as we know, humans in India are altogether different from those in Europe. Find irony in the fact that 377 was a product of the British rule, who have proceeded to saner laws.

CPI(M) politburo member MK Pandhe said his party “doesn’t support homosexuality”. But he refused to comment about section 377, saying “our party has not discussed the matter [yet]“.

to be read as, “We are not yet sure what China’s stand on the issue is”.

Just like I have proven time and again that you don’t need to be a woman to be a hardcore feminist, it is time we voiced our opinion on this issue (assuming the opinion makes sense) even though it may not concern us.

The bottomline for a law should be this : If you don’t bother anyone, the government shouldn’t bother you.

1. Prez, PM, parliament spent 14cr on power .. http://bit.ly/w0slF .. and people say Manmohan Singh has no power.about 4 hours ago
   
2. Pak claims victory, says Taliban ousted from Swat ..http://bit.ly/jRlG0 .. now they are only in the rest of Pakistan.about 10 hours ago

3. India adding spices to grenades .. http://bit.ly/1fpp5M .. As though the curry & spice stereotyping wasn’t enough !! (link via @xainabk)about 21 hours ago

4. Sri Lanka arrests astrologer for gloomy predictions ..http://bit.ly/4dvDc .. Now he didn’t see that one coming, did he ?about 21 hours ago

5. The Week That Wasn’t : Pak PM Gilani refused to congratulate the cricket team on T20 world cup victory. Apparently, he asked for more proof.about 21 hours ago

6. Bschool bans dangerous stuff like gum,ragging,smoking,phones http://bit.ly/kpDLm In a blatant violation, a student ws singing himesh’s songsabout 23 hours ago

7. MJ’s biggest legacy in India – the loo he used in the Thackeray household http://bit.ly/167oRPabout 23 hours ago

8. Oz varsity to study motivations behind racial attacks ..http://bit.ly/2a9VN .. Isn’t racial already a motive ?about 23 hours ago

9. SRK to get honourary doctorate from British univ http://bit.ly/iYrFn.. So now he is a producer, singer, businessman & doctor.about 23 hours ago

10. Gilani rules out dialogue with militants .. http://bit.ly/d989f .. Open to song and dance though.about 23 hours ago

11. Pakistan among top 10 failed states’ .. http://bit.ly/w3rgE . If you apply a median filter, India fares really badly.about 24 hours ago

12. Pak has 7,000 on death row to India’s 300 .. http://bit.ly/4sabMo .. Of course, those include quarterly projections.about 24 hours ago

13. Film-making is not a priority: Subhash Ghai .. http://bit.ly/2yEffk .. so god DOES exist !!about 24 hours ago
    
14. ‘A team not coming to Pakistan isn’t playing against the best’ : Younus http://bit.ly/11vtbj .. Cool down big guy, you lost to England !!!about 24 hours ago

15. Electoral watchdog says this was Iran’s ‘cleanest election ever’ ..http://bit.ly/11651h .. Of course, all votes were washed away anyway.12:05 PM Jun 27th

16. Monica Bedi to belt out Sikh devotional numbers http://bit.ly/S3B5VNo one’s complained yet. Bhajji : “Oh come on !!”12:03 PM Jun 27th

17. Just a thought. Have condolence messages become cooler after someone discovered the acronym R.I.P. ?1:28 PM Jun 26th

18. Michael Jackson apparently died of painkillers .. http://bit.ly/1G6ciU.. Wouldn’t that mean he was a pain for others ?6:21 AM Jun 26th

19. Rajiv Gandhi Adventure Scheme for youth launched ..http://bit.ly/OXLPm .. it involves tolerating Varun Gandhi.6:20 AM Jun 26th

20. Kasab feels better after given medicines for stomach pain ..http://bit.ly/1UaFN .. Yes, and what were you expecting ?6:01 AM Jun 26th

21. 22 persons including 7 women arrested http://bit.ly/COU1A .. Looks like the women’s reservation bill has passed.6:00 AM Jun 26th

The twitter URL is http://twitter.com/iyerdeepak

Recently, French President Nicholas Sarkozy effected a ban on the burqa. Not to be left behind, the Sena supremo has made a similar demand for India.

Which brings me to another thought.

If the burqa is to be banned, why not the sari ? If the burqa is a sign of subservience, so is the sari in many households. If you argue that a lot of women wear the sari out of preference, the same can be argued of the burqa, I believe.

Okay maybe they are slightly different, but I am extrapolating.

The Dudette of the Week is UP Chief Minister Kumari Mayawati, and not just because of the spotlight on her for spending Rs. 1000 cr. on statues of herself, but for this quote from a BSP old-timer :

“Mayawati is putting up bronze statues because she thinks that a couple of hundred years from now, people will worship her as a deity.”  The solid metal statues are protected with elaborate canopies for this reason, he said.

It would be funny if he weren’t serious. Sadly, serious he was. The article goes on to add that Mayawati has often described herself as “zinda devi” (living goddess) at BSP rallies.

Apart from caring for pigeons, I fail to understand what the statues are achieving, but I don’t think she cares about such trivialities.

Instead of ranting further, I present a photo I captured at Jaipur.

Someday, I hope to get one such of Mayawati.

This is no news that for too long, women have been oppressed in India. In workplaces, households, professions, women have been looked down upon and discriminated against.

But in a recent move that has surprisingly not seen too much media attention, the government has blatantlydiscriminated against a woman.

Strangely, none of the outspoken feminists have bothered to look into the case as it deals with a minority. As everyone knows by now, I am a hardcore feminist, which is why I had to speak out against the government.

I am disgusted when independent women are discriminated against.

I am appalled when chauvinists pour scorn upon modern and liberal thinking women.

I am saddened when sexually liberated women are seen as mere objects of fantasy.

I hate to call myself an Indian when a woman’s beauty is held against her.

All this just goes to show that we have a long way to go as a nation before we can call ourselves truly progressive.

Oh and by the way, the government has banned Savita Bhabhi.

As tragic as it sounds, around 2,000 farmers from Chhattarpur, Jharkhand have signed a petition seeking ‘mercy killing’ from President Patil owing to a drought for the 4th successive year and that governments’ apathy to their voices. They are hoping their voices will be heard in death, which is immensely ironic considering the petition is going to Mrs. Patil :

“In the 2006 drought, farmers sold their bullock cart, goats and other things. In 2007, we sold our piece of land. In the 2008 drought, we were forced to sell the jewellery of our wives. Now what should we sell in the 2009 drought. Should we sell ourselves? We may have been deprived to lead a respectable life but we should be allowed a respectable death,” reads the four-page letter, a copy of which is with IANS.

I am assuming this will garrner enough media attention until the government decides to step in with some package for the farmers. The farmers rejoice, then after a few months when they still haven’t received any money thanks to the babus, their new woes will be the subject of another news article.

Here’s what I don’t get.

If for the fourth successive year the land is not suitable for agriculture and in many such cases in Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh, why is the government not focussing on alternate jobs or encouraging and helping them settle in cities or choose alternate paths. Given the massive bailout money allotted to farmers’ every year, even though the situation on the ground doesn’t seem to improve, why are we, in a sense, forcing them to remain in agriculture.

Is it just to boost our ego that we are an agrarian nation ?

More tragic is the plight of the countless other farmers who are dying a silent death in the interiors of Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh, one of their crimes being unable to think of a ‘mercy killing’ petition.

Since the next few days are going to be spent by most people writing a tribute to Michael Jackson and how he affected their lives, this post is quite relevant at this time.

Sample this, a tribute by Aditya Thackeray, grandson of the supremo, where he reminisces about MJ’s 1996 visit to India :

They went hysterical on seeing him, some even fainted. Me, a six-year-old then, didn’t know who he was. So when he entered our house, I calmly sat on Aja’s lap. He asked me to sit on his lap.

Kindly go through a person’s background and do a quick proof-read. You are on your way to become a successful tribute-writer.

I have mostly been microblogging yesterday, so here they are (kindly subscribe to Tweets You Can’t Use if you like these micro-posts) :

1. Stephen Colbert : The real danger of exorcing out homosexuality from someone is having a gay demon on the loose !about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck

2. I touched MJ: Farah Khan .. http://bit.ly/b7my6 For once, it isn’t the other way round !!about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck

3. Okay people who cannot tell the names of atleast 5 of his songs, no Michael Jackson status messages for you !!about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck

4. @Farah Fawcett, next time do not die on the same day as Michael Jackson .. http://bit.ly/rwdXkabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck

5. Dairy business reminds me .. Yanni dedicates a song to Mallika Sherawat !! Seriously, what the !@#$ ! http://bit.ly/2ZPszabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck

6. When Amul ranks among the top 21 dairy businesses, why is it always the 21st !1 http://bit.ly/DpUxnabout 4 hours ago from TweetDeck

7. Sonia proposes act on national food security http://bit.ly/13QjMb .. Yes, that is what we need. NSG commandos fighting the rats.about 4 hours ago from TweetDeck

8. Escort girl claims Berlusconi promised help in return for sexhttp://bit.ly/e2jFV .. Dude wasn’t lying yest. after allhttp://bit.ly/RPwKcabout 5 hours ago from TweetDeck

9. China blocks Google, says it spreads porn http://bit.ly/byAcM .. Wait till they realize humans are the root cause of porn, and ban humans.about 5 hours ago from TweetDeck

10. Flowchart guide for adulterous Republican politicians :http://bit.ly/19e26Pabout 5 hours ago from TweetDeck

11. He-Man in his only appearance in Bollywood http://bit.ly/XmxpL : HT @uberdesiabout 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

12. 1 illegal mp3 download = 3.33 dead relatives .. http://bit.ly/bTu0u .. Bizarre !about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

13. I can convince Younis to reconsider his retirement: Butt ..http://bit.ly/XCUPc . How does anyone take him seriously with a name like that ?about 20 hours ago from TweetDeck

14. Punjab bans use of AC in gov. offices http://bit.ly/RsGI8 .. We can expect to catch more officers with their pants downhttp://bit.ly/avldrabout 20 hours ago from TweetDeck

15. Shiv Sena torches billing stations in Mumbai over tariff hike ..http://bit.ly/z22CS .. They might be suggesting thermal power generation.about 20 hours ago from TweetDeck

16. Afridi angry with ICC as next T20 world cup is only 9 months awayhttp://bit.ly/e9F4X .. someone suddenly realizes how to count time.8:20 PM Jun 24th from TweetDeck

Before saying anything, I must admit that I am a big fan of the Bachchans and this might heavily bias my posts.

As we know, Priyanka Chopra has been awarded the Best Actress trophy for Fashion in every single award function, including IIFA. This has not gone down well with Mrs. Jaya Bachchan, who stated :

I don’t have any objection to her [Priyanka] winning the award at IIFA. But I wonder why Aishwarya’s fine performance was ignored. I think she richly deserved recognition for her work.

Of course, Mrs. Bachchan acted out these lines and given her recent acting escapades, it is mere speculation that she said the exact same words. Now critics are going to point out that Mrs. Bachchan hasn’t even seen Fashion to make a comment, but therein lies the greatness of the Bachchan parivar (family), which is one of the last 3 remaining parivars in India, after the Gandhi parivar and Sahara parivar.

So understandably, this ignorance by IIFA has made me livid with anger. At the very least, IIFA should have recognized at least two Bachchans for awards. How else can the family show their closeness and bonding on stage ?

Now rumour has it that they felt Aishwarya was plastic in the movie. Wrong. If anything, she was wax, and wax, as we all know, is a greener and more organic alternative to plastic. With the increasing importance of environmental conservation, I am apalled at this decision of IIFA.

In fact, let me go a step further. I demand a Best Actor trophy for Abhishek Bachchan in Jodha Akbar. I know the skeptics are always going to say that he wasn’t even there in the movie. But to think of it, he wasn’t in it means he did not act in it, which is a far superior performance than bad acting ! So there you go.

I just hope IIFA rectifies its mistake next year, by giving a family pack of awards to all Bachchans henceforth, including the yet to be born baby.

To quote Varun Gandhi, “If any person lifts a hand against the Bachchans, or thinks they are weak, there is nobody behind them, then I swear on the Amar Singh that I will cut off their nails”.

Governor of South Carolina disappears.

Staff, family have no idea where he is.

Wife says he was writing something, and wanted solitude.

A statement comes out that he was hiking the Appalachian trail. Immense respect and admiration comes from me.

His hiking adventure coincides with the Naked Hiking Day (which was actually this Sunday, when I was hiking in full attire).

I almost christen Mark Sanford as the Dude of this Week, until he resurfaces today and spoils everything.

Turns out, he was just coochie cooing with his mistress in Argentina.

With this another Republican goes down, literally and figuratively.

Fox News manages a silver lining, they label him a Democrat.

Still the Americans have a long way to go before they can complete with us Indians.

As my friend Salil points out, when our politician disappears, he goes AWOL, converts to another faith with his girlfriend, gets married to her, leaves her to get back with his first wife citing moral values, gets a cool new crew cut and is back with his second wife professing their love on camera, with a few suicide attempts, police complaints and kidnapping allegations thrown in for dramatic effect.

I thought Mark Sanford was going somewhere with the naked hiking thing, but I am quite disappointed with him now.

No Dude of the Week for you.

BBC reports :

‘Dozens dead’ in US drone strike.

The people killed in South Waziristan had been attending the funeral of a militant commander who had been killed in an earlier strike.

And that, my friends, is what is called as irony.

Link via Xeb.

This is the most fun set of questions asked by a news channel to a minister, courtesy CNNIBN and Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar (who is in London presently). Meanwhile, rains are delayed in India and CNNIBN is flustered. Here goes :

CNN-IBN: Sir, people are worried.

Sharad Pawar: I don’t want to create a further panic scare. I don’t want to speak from London without talking to the Met Department. It is not proper for me to talk from here. When I will be back… I will be happy to talk to you.

CNN-IBN: When are you back?

Sharad Pawar: 26th (June 26).

CNN-IBN: Do you feel that your Ministry must be missing you?

Sharad Pawar: I don’t think so. You are unnecessarily creating a fear complex.

CNN-IBN : Sir, will you please get some water along while coming ?

Sharad Pawar : What the @$@#@ !!

Yeah fine, I added the last one, but it could have well been there.

I don’t know if the government was serious or just in the mood for some puns, but sample these lines about the government mulling over bailing out Air India :

[ .. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has assured Air India that the government would put its entire weight behind it ..]

[ ... but with a condition that airline should undertake a full restructuring and shape up by becoming leaner and trimmer .. ]

[ .. "There is a lot of excess flab on the entire body of Air India .. ]

On a serious note, the only real reason to bail out Air India seems to be that it is the national carrier and our pride. Before spending taxpayers’ money on the pride of India, we might want to confirm how many of them are actually proud of it.

I had said of the Nanavati commission report on the post-Godhra riots :

I think a basic statistical (and geeky) analysis on commissions in India would reveal that the mean of all reports in an issue is exactly zero, and further analysis might prove them to be either uncorrelated or correlated with the coefficient -1.

The Varun Gandhi episode just vindicates it :

One lab says Varun CD doctored, another says no.

Anyway, the BJP lost miserably, Varun Gandhi is already a starlet and none of this matters now, except probably adding more chaos in an already chaotic BJP.