Offensive symbols.

The Hindu reports :

Hindu Jagran Manch and other Hindu organisations have objected to allotment of “elephant ” as an election symbol to any political party and have urged the Election Commission to withdraw it. 

Why, an ignorant non-practising Hindu may ask.

“Hindus rever elephant as Lord Ganesha and its use in election provides scope to political parties to use it for sloganeering and its akin to degrading the god thereby hurting the religious sentiments of Hindus, Misra said.

In view of the forthcoming elections, allow me to analyse the election symbols of the major political parties to help make them controversy-free :

Elephant (Bahujan Samaj Party) : Offensive to Hindus, unless it is not referring to the animal but the party leader.

Lotus (BJP) : Offensive to all politicians … err .. make that all fools (phools).

Hammer, sickle, star and pickle (Communist Party of India, Marxist) : Who cares about them ? No one even noticed that I added a pickle there.

Clock (NCP) : Offensive to all Indians. We don’t run by some western instrument, we listen to our heart (which normally runs 15 minutes later than the clock).

and lastly, 

Hand (Congress) : Offensive to all single, unmarried guys.

Bobby bombs.

.. and not just bombs, he almost suicide-bombs.

When I was back home, Bobby Jindal was one American politician the media reported eagerly about, considering he was of Indian origin. I had heard a few flattering things about him and was eager to see him perform on the national scene. That happened yesterday when he delivered the Republican response to President Obama’s address to a joint session of the Congress. Unfortunately, he cleared all doubts.

Firstly, was it just me or did everyone burst out laughing at his tone ? Unless he was trying to convince a class of kindergarteners, there is some serious problem with it (watch the video here).

Then came the WT# moment (full transcript here):

As I grew up, my mom and dad taught me the values that attracted them to this country, and they instilled in me an immigrant’s wonder at the greatness of America. As a child, I remember going to the grocery store with my dad. Growing up in India, he had seen extreme poverty. And as we walked through the aisles, looking at the endless variety on the shelves, he would tell me: “Bobby, Americans can do anything.” I still believe that to this day: Americans can do anything.

I am sure America’s claim to fame are those 10 varieties of Lays’ chips. 

Plus there were the classic Republican gaffes, this time in reference to ‘volcano monitoring’ and one completely orthogonal Hurricane Katrina reference, if not self-destructive.

Ok I admit I might be biased, but you know you have touched your nadir as a Republican when Fox News pans you !

Tch tch.

Hate crime.

As someone who assumed the Bay Area was insulated from hate crimes and crazy gun-wielding maniacs, this news did startle me : 

Police said four victims had left a bar and were walking to their  car in a parking lot in the 200 block of Castro Street when they were  approached by two female suspects.

The suspects harassed the victims, who were speaking Hindi, and  made racially charged comments about their ethnicity and the language they  were using, police said.

The two female suspects allegedly approached a female victim and  began punching and slapping her. When the victim’s husband intervened, a  group of four to six male suspects appeared, dragging the husband away from  his wife, police said. The suspects then began to punch and kick the husband. Two other male victims attempted to intervene but were also  punched, police said.

Anyone who lives around the Bay Area would know of Castro St. which puts the news in a non-”I don’t care” perspective. Fortunately, I haven’t been a victim of any hate crime and all the people I have encountered have been more than just courteous (either that or I am living in a hole); although I must add that sadly, all it takes is one incident to change your views. Addy, a batchmate at Stanford, writes about the aforementioned incident and some of his experiences :

But, there was this time in San Francisco’s Tenderloin district when a man pulled a gun on me for being “Muslim”. When I told him I wasn’t “Muslim” with my arms raised, he insisted “Don f@#k wid me ya f@#king muddaf@#ker. Ya look like one of dem Muslims. I don’t like ya muddaf@#kers terroristing all over da world.” … continued here.

Link via Raghu.

Buffaloes, missed calls and Kannada ringtones.

I don’t know what I liked best about this article. Your esteemed opinion is solicited.

Edit : Veda points to an option I missed out : The abnormally repeated usage of “must have” in the article. Six to be specific.

Jai Ho !

No, the title is not the cliched Jai Ho of every second article. Everyone is using the first Jai Ho from the track, I am using the 6th one.

Congrats to Resul Pookutty and A.R. Rahman for bringing 3 Oscars back home.  Well deserved indeed.

Also congrats the to the Slumdog Millionaire team for pulling off an almost improbable win (this would make sense to people who followed the movie since last October).

I am not entering into another debate over whether it deserved the award, I leave that to people who prefer to overlook the rules of the game or oversimplify the Academy voters and the Western filmmakers.

For people who believe India has better movies than Oscar winners, all I can say is no matter how fast he runs, Usain Bolt cannot really be called the fastest runner between wickets.

*****

For people who think Slumdog changes nothing for us :

Friend (on a ski lift) : (listening to the ipod)

Stranger : So what music are you listening to ?

Friend : Well, Indian music.

Stranger : Oh cool. I just got the music of Slumdog !

This was before the Oscars.

*****

And for people who think this isn’t Rahman’s best work, here is a small story :

Random person from the West : The music of Slumdog is like .. freakin’ awesome !!

Random person from North India : The goras are idiots. The music of Slumdog is utter rubbish. Those saala goras haven’t heard his Hindi albums.

Random person from a city in South Indian city : The goras and northies are both idiots. The music of Slumdog and his Hindi albums are utter rubbish. They haven’t heard his Tamil albums.

Meanwhile,  a fly in the loo of Panchathan studio : Did you just hear that dude sing ? That has got to be his best tune ever !

*****

Lastly, my deepest condolences to the people unhappy with the Oscar results. I do understand how much you disliked some of the movies and results, but all I can say is you’ve got to live with it, and life doesn’t end here.

Some trivia to end. Benjamin Button and The Dark Knight are examples of movies made for the Oscars. Slumdog Millionaire barely escaped going straight to DVD and was never even sure of getting a US release.

A.R. Rahman has been shortlisted previously by the Academy for songs of Rang De Basanti and Water in the Best Original Song category. He just did not make it to the final list of nominees.

Edit : No matter how great A.R. Rahman is, he simply shouldn’t be singing live !

Tax for entertainment.

BJP wants govt to slap entertainment tax on IPL.

Can we also please slap entertainment tax on politicians’ incomes then ?

Any regular reader here would agree.

How to get an IIM.

Simple. Bribe a typist. 

In the recent budget speech, Mukherjee had said that the new Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs) were to come up in Haryana, Rajasthan, Jharkhand and Tamil Nadu. However, Mukherjee later said he was informed that there was a typographical mistake made by the HRD ministry and these institutions were to come up in Haryana, Chhattisgarh, Jharkhand and Tamil Nadu. 

This, however, led to strong protests in Rajasthan and MPs from the state raised the issue in the ongoing session of Parliament.

“The HRD ministry has rectified the mistake. As announced, we will now take action to set up an IIM in Rajasthan also,” acting finance minister Pranab Mukherjee said in Rajya Sabha on Wednesday. 

All that stands between a state and an IIM is a sincere typist.

Dude of the week.

This  dude of the week is literal.

We all know that Obama religiously works out everyday. It was but natural that Mr. L.K. Advani would follow suit.

Senior BJP leader LK Advani on Friday showed that he is fit to lead the country by trying his hand at dumbbells and weights at the new gymnasium developed by the civic body in Vadaj area in Ahmedabad.

Details follow :

He picked up two one-kg dumbbells and lifted them above his shoulders, both his hands up in the air. Advani also flexed his muscles with some shoulder crunches at the gymnasium. He then jogged to Pakistan, uprooted a hand pump and bashed up all Pakistani actors who were not in government jobs.

Well not the last line, but the rest is true. I have video proof.

I never expected Mr. Advani to be all about brawn. Maybe because I always thought he resembled Chacha Chaudhari (or is it just me ?). Now wouldn’t it be cool to have an election poster that says “Shri L.K. Advani’s brain works faster than a non-Hindu”.

(For people who do not yet see the obvious plagiarism of campaigning, have a look at a previous article here. Another recent speech of his read “India’s problems need Indian solutions” which bears an uncanny resemblance to an Obama speech)

Politics and metaphors.

Check out some awesome metaphors used recently :

Mayawati is the ‘new-age Shahjahan’, says BJP.

Young Congress men are fish in aquarium: Modi

Cong calls Modi a piranha.

I sincerely request you to tone down the intellect and dumb down the metaphors. After all, we are the people who believe that Slumdog’s success was your achievement and Ram Mandir is the most important issue.

Noida after-effect.

So what does the common man do after the Noida MMS scandal rocks India ?

Protest against the influx of western culture ? (whatever that means)

Protest against the guy who forwarded the MMS ?

Comdemn the girl for her ‘character’ ?

Nah.

Instead, India goes searching for the MMS clip !

I don’t have any serious take on the issue except that if you really like shooting videos, you might want to consider applying to FTII instead of wasting your talent and bearing the brunt of nation-wide condemn.

But Preity Zinta has written a scathing piece that starts with :

I think one of the most important things is common sense. I believe girls are blessed with loads of common sense, but very few use it. My own common sense rules for me.

If those lines did not put you off, she makes some valid if not already obvious points.

Image Courtesy : SpeakIndia, their post here.