I know there exists a damn punny headline for this post somewhere, I just haven’t found it yet. Drop in a line if you get one.

Some unknown Mahatma Gandhi foundation caused this recent news item :

The national flag used in the website www.lkadvani.in was withdrawn after it was pointed out by the Mahatma Gandhi foundation that the flag should not be used for campaign purposes. The foundation had also said it was improper to use it for advertisement. 

That by itself warrants a place for this news here at News You Can’t Use (yes, I am branding it now). But the most ironic part is :

The flag code was introduced by Advani when he was Union Home Minister.

I had to carry out some investigative journalism on this, before the tradition died out. So here is some more information about the Indian flag.

On 5 July 2005, the Government of India amended the code, allowing use of the flag as clothing and uniform. It however cannot be used as clothing below the waist or as undergarments. It is also prohibited to embroider the national flag and other symbols onto pillowcases or neckerchiefs.

Okay say it was used as an undergarment. Going by the defition of an undergarment, how the heck would you even find that out ! Plus that might have been one of the foreseen ventures of the aforementioned brand.

Tradition also states that when draped vertically, the flag should not merely be rotated through 90 degrees, but also reversed. One “reads” a flag like the pages of a book, from top to bottom and from left to right, and after rotation the results should be the same.

So mind you, I could complain about you to the teacher if it was even a tad bit lower or higher.

It is also insulting to display the flag in a frayed or dirty state.

Umm .. insulting to whom exactly ? The flag or the inflated ego in the big head of a nonsensical non-patriot.

So when it is hoisted with the flags of other countries, it should be the first flag or first and last flag or in alphabetical order. Fair enough. But sample this :

In case flags are to be flown in a closed circle, the national flag shall mark the beginning of the circle and the flags of other countries should proceed in a clockwise manner.

Ahem .. elementary geometry anyone ?

When the President goes on tour within India, the flag should be displayed on the side by which the President will embark the aircraft or disembark from it. When the President travels by special train within the country, the flag should be flown from the driver’s cab on the side facing the platform of the station from where the train departs. The flag should be flown only when the special train is stationary or when coming into the station where it is going to halt.

Who exactly has the time to come up with such stuff ?

There are plenty more here if you want a good laugh, but I end with this :

When the Tiranga is in a damaged or soiled condition, it may not be cast aside or disrespectfully disposed of, but shall be destroyed as a whole in private, preferably by burning or by any other method consistent with the dignity of the flag. The other proper way to destroy the Tiranga could be immersion into the Ganga or buried with due respect.

Yeah whatever, if I were in its place, I would just be glad to break free finally.

I also propose that Oxford immediately change the definition of flagging from his book, apparently it means declining, weakening, languid and drooping, which should be insulting to the flag as we have just learnt.

To summarize, please be careful the next time you handle the flag, lest you might hurt its sentiments (and if that happens, optimistically speaking, I would get another blog post).

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