Dudes of the Week.

It’s time to restart the Dude of the Week series. For consistent performance over the last few weeks, the Sena receives the honour.

They’ve blamed migrants for malaria, forced FM channels to play Marathi songs, spilt lakhs of litres of milk, forcibly tried to enter Andhra Pradesh (to break stuff there, I presume), taken part in Belgaum-related violence.

The Sena has hit a purple patch here.

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If you have a better contender, please write back. It will be duly considered — and then discarded. No one can up the Sena’s recent performance.

Dude of the Week.

Baba Ramdev has been a consistent Dude of the Week for many weeks, but I think we should move on now. Whatever time we spent together with him, we will cherish. But we need to get over him, so our rebound Dude of the Week is Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari for his motorcade causing a childbirth in a traffic jam :

A Pakistani woman gave birth to a baby girl in an auto-rickshaw stuck in a traffic jam when police closed roads to let President Asif Ali Zardari’s motorcade drive by.

The woman was being driven to hospital in the city of Quetta on Thursday evening when police blocked roads for Zardari and his convoy to pass.

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On hearing this, Zardari ordered that the child be born again — this time in a propah hospital. His minions are working on it.

Not the Dude of the Week.

It’s time for me to apologize. I admit I have been rather harsh on Baba Ramdev for some of his controversial views. On more than one occasion, he has been declared the Dude of the Week at this blog. Not anymore.

He recently ‘blasted’ the Shiv Sena and MNS for their anti-migrant policies :

He said, ” It’s the responsibility of Maharashtra government to stop them from infusing anti north sentiments our constitution gives the liberty to all Indians to live anywhere and work for livelihood in any part of country.”

Kudos, as they say. He also has some wise views on a wide range of topics in the article. Do read. I really feel bad about all the parodying and fun-poking at Baba Ramdev. I think it is time to take the Dude of the Week award away from Baba Ramdev. A well-deserved stripping of the award.

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Oh, wait. He has challenged that he shall cure prince Manvendra Singh Gohil of his homosexuality within a week.

Oops. So close. Sorry dude, you need to hold on to it for some more time.

Dude of the week.

I’m sorry but this post is better off being discreet.

If you followed the technology news section today, you’d know who the Dude of the Week is — because however tomorrow turns out — no matter if he was right or wrong — this guy will look like an idiot.

And that is some foolproof ‘Dude of the Week’ness.

Dude of the week.

Rajasthan has recently made it compulsory to register child marriages in court. This in itself is firmly in the WTF category, but trust Rajasthan CM Ashok Gehlot to take it that bit further. When confronted that this is in direct violation of a law which criminalizes child marriage in the first place, he says something to the effect of :

Both adult and child marriages have to be registered. Registering child marriages does not make them legal, instead detection of such cases becomes possible so we can take further action.

OK. You are the Dude of the Week.

The next step — that I see as an obvious extension — is to make all criminal activities like murder, rape, kidnapping and excessive hoarding of khakra compulsory to register. Make those criminals stand in queues, submit attested forms of their birth and death certificates in triplicate and be at the mercy of our babus. Then we’ll see who wants to be a criminal.

Dudes of the week.

are Goa CM Digambar Kamat and Congress MP Shantaram Naik for their views that the Russian rape victim was — for lack of better words — ‘asking for it’.

Goa CM Digambar Kamat :

Do you believe that Goa’s image has taken a beating by this incident? This is not the first such case. Do you believe Goa will be seen as an unsafe place?

I don’t agree. First, you should go to the root cause of this case. What was this lady doing so late in the night with some people? Why did she accompany this man in this car? These are some of the questions which have to be answered.

Congress MP Shantaram Naik :

Rape is a heinous crime but “an alleged rape of a lady who moves with strangers for days together even beyond the middle of the night is to be treated on different footings,” said Naik.

You know what, millions of other think likewise, so I’ll just bundle them together and present this Dude of the Week to all those men and women. Go enjoy.

‘Making of a gay’

I’ve been religiously following the third season of Bigg Boss as my only form of guilty pleasure. Today, I came across this immensely WTF bit where the openly gay inmate Rohit Verma explains the concept of homosexuality. Don’t want to spoil your fun, here it is :

What concerns me is that he might be the first gay person that a majority of the audience might be seeing, the first male who claims to have a boyfriend. Such gibberish coming from him can only be harmful to the issue of homosexuality in India.

Add to that the bit where he says everyone goes through a one-week period between the ages of 5 and 32 where they feel same-sex attraction. If that isn’t a load of rubbish, most readers here (including me) need to be very concerned that we still have a few years to cross !

Atleast one person is sure to vote for him — Baba Ramdev, who agrees that homosexuality is a psychological problem.

After hearing him, I suspect he might not be gay after all, he might be bisexual or metrosexual or just an effeminate dude. Another dudette is Bobby Darling, who has undergone a sex-change operation, is now a female, but calls herself a gay man. How tough is it to log on to Wikipedia and find out what you are ?

I think Rohit Verma deserves to be the Dude of the Week, although I can’t decide between Dude and Dudette, so let’s just put that on hold.

Illegal Haj subsidy.

The government has decided to hike the subsidized air-fare for Haj pilgrims from Rs. 12,000 to Rs. 16,000. Naturally, clerics are not happy :

Terming the increase in air-fare as “illegal”, national president of Jamiat-e-Ulema Hind demanded that the decision should be withdrawn with immediate effect.

I think this guy deserves to be the Dude of the Week, although I can’t promise anything yet. We have a lot of competition, you see.

Stating the obvious, but it is unfair that your tax money goes into funding such projects.

I feel especially bad for the Muslim haters. Now why would you want to take their tax money and fund such things. That’s just mean.

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Likewise, Hindus (except MNS) should get subsidized tickets to Ayodhya (U.P.), Jews to the Holy Land, Scientologists to an asylum and frequent flier miles for atheists.

Dude of the Week.

is Salman Khurshid, India’s Corporate Affairs Minister.

First, for suggesting that CEO’s should not get ‘vulgar’ salaries.

In India, the government has so far refrained from talking about controlling corporate salaries, but corporate affairs minister Salman Khursheed’s advice to companies on Sunday to refrain from “vulgar” salaries is sure to spark a debate on how much is too much.

(With the Mahatma’s picture on our currency, we can give up hopes of any kind of money ever being vulgar.)

Second, for his statement after Mukesh Ambani took a pay cut :

“Whatever voluntarily a person like Mukesh Ambani has done shows remarkable sensibility to the prevailing thought process in the entire country,” the minister said.

For those curious, Mukesh Ambani’s salary is down to 15 crores from 44 crores, apart from the fact that he owns a few companies here and there.

In Mr. Khurshid’s defence, he’s having a tough time as the Corporate Affairs Minister. Little did he know that he’d have to deal with the slowdown; he thought all he had to do was hook up with corporate women.

Dude of the Week .. again.

Continuing his dominance over the Dude of the Week title, Baba Ramdev has displayed exceptional WTFness and praiseworthy nonsense :

First, for suggesting that Sach ka Saamna is against .. wait for it .. Indian culture :

Joining the corus(sic) of voices criticising the reality show ‘Sach ka Saamna’, yoga guru Baba Ramdev today said there was no need to promote people who were “characterless”.

“By giving the impression that promiscuous behaviour and infidelity was common, such programmes are promoting these tendencies. In reality, a majority of the people of our country are not the kind that appear on the show,” he said.

Secondly, and more importantly and WTFly, for claiming that yoga can protect you from swine flu. A classic case of piggybacking (pun ?) on a current issue to further one’s agenda.

In honour of Baba Ramdev, who has been consistently maintaining his title here for a few weeks, I present some really bad jokes I came up with :

Q : Why did Baba Ramdev cross the road ?
A : Not crossing wouldn’t give him any media attention.

Baba Ramdev once walked into a bar. He then walked out as it was against Indian culture.

Q : How many Baba Ramdevs does it take to screw a bulb ?
A : None. He doesn’t use a bulb as yoga has a cure for darkness.

I am sure the readers can do better than this. Put your Himesh cap on and feel free to add your own.