News You Can't Use !

Disclaimer : These are not the literal ‘frequently asked questions’ (to be honest, they have never been asked). In fact, only a few people seem to read this blog and none are interested in any questions. These questions are just figments of my imagination where I imagine myself to be a huge blogstar (a la rockstar Himesss) with hordes of fans thronging me and bombarding me with questions.

1. Who are you ?
A. My name is Deepak Iyer. I am currently pursuing my masters’ in Computer Science at Stanford University (not to be confused with Stamford University, Bangaladesh or University of Connecticut, Stamford. And if you are thinking about this girl, the university you want is Salford)

2. Ok I liked your blog. Now what ?
A. Nothing. Just keep visiting. But in case you are a software engineer, you could tell your friends (if you have any) about this blog or give tip offs at sites like www.desipundit.com. I do not make any money out of this blog, so your inner conscience should not prevent you from helping me spread the word around.

3. Ok. I did not like your blog. Now what ?
A. Nothing. But now you can tell the ones you don’t like about this blog. So you see, I want it to be a win-win situation for me.

4. What kind of posts can we expect ?
A. The most concise description is : An Indian’s perception of everything.

5. Is there some better way of receiving the content of this blog instead of visiting it every now and then ?
A: Subscribe to the content. Details here.

7. What is with you and Raj Thackeray ?
A. Absolutely nothing. We’re just friends.

8. What is it with you and ‘any XYZ’ ?
A. Same as above.

9. Why do you ‘hit on everyone’ (which is Indian English for ‘Why do you write satire about everyone’) ?
A. I come from a city where people learn satire, black humour, sarcasm and criticism before they can even speak.

10. Do I know you ?
A. If you studied at Crescent High School, Pune or N.M.V. Junior College, Pune or Pune Institute of Computer Technology, Pune or worked at Codito Technologies, Celunite Inc.,or Azingo Inc. or if you were born and brought up in Pune, be damn sure that you do not know me. If not, then we have known each other all your life without your knowledge.

11. I cannot find you on Orkut! I want to add you as a friend to increase my friend count [:(] !
A. I do not actively use Orkut. In fact, I am currently being considered for an award called “the least socially active person”, with no competition whatsoever that I am afraid an anti-trust lawsuit is just around the corner.

12. How did you land up here ?
A. Obedient baby -> troublesome child -> non-geeky student -> bookworm -> musician -> film lover -> amateur philosopher -> geeky coder -> patriot -> avid trekker -> ecstatic Stanford admit holder -> non-ecstatic international student -> writing.
That pretty much sums up my journey till here.

13. Where the hell is question 6 ?
A. Here.