You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘cricket’ tag.
Just like violence begets violence, silliness begets silliness I presume.
We hadn’t even finished making fun of Kirsten’s statement (that cricketers need to have more sex to enhance performance), that a Hindu leader in the U.S.A., Mr. Rajan Zed, has already made his position on the sex issue clear :
[.. Rajan Zed, in a statement in Nevada (USA) today, said that India’s youth looked up to the cricket players as kind of role models. If the national cricket team indulged in undisciplined casual sex, it was a scary thought to imagine what the rest of the youth of the country would do.
This is the perfect moment for me to say, ‘I told you so !’. The words aren’t exact, but I predicted something similar yesterday :
Expect PILs of the order of, “The Indian team is playing too well, and this is creating a bad influence on our youngsters”.
Okay fine, it’s not the same, but you get the idea.
I don’t know why he assumes the sex would be undisciplined and casual. I am sure Kirsten could make sure (for the sake of us sensitive Indians) that the it is disciplined and non-casual.
Is that fine, Mr. Zed ?
Link via Prem Panicker.
My friend Nikhil writes in :
Dude, check this out. Gary Kirsten recommending Indian players to have sex before their match to improve performance.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Have-sex-to-play-better-Gary-Kirsten/videoshow/5046678.cms
Now that explains Gambhir’s groin injury before the last series
http://www.dnaindia.com/sport/report_gautam-gambhir-to-return-home-with-groin-injury_1289008
but now Yuvraj gets a finger injury before the Champions trophy…
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Yuvraj-Singh-ruled-out-of-Champions-Trophy/videoshow/5047896.cms
I don’t think he quite gets it.
Some great investigative journalism, I must add. Now this also opens up endless possibilities of analyzing the performance of Indian players.
We’ll know exactly when Yuvraj has broken up with his latest girlfriend, when our cricketers are going through a rough patch in their marriage or if the marriage is strong, when to expect a little cricketer.
Seeing the scores, we’ll also be able to tell how much each cricketer scored.
Indian cricketers on tour can expect calls from furious wives/girlfriends, “Main yahan hoon phir tumne century kaise score kiya ?? Zara wapas aao tumhe dikhati hoon”.
If only article 377 weren’t illegal, we could expect criminal cases against Rahul Dravid and V.V.S. Laxman for the 376-run partnership.
Domestic and other sports can expect to be pushed down further by cricket now. You’re an adolescent sportsman, which team would you want to join ? The hockey team that doesn’t qualify for the Olympics, or Kirsten’s Night Riders ?
Expect PILs of the order of, “The Indian team is playing too well, and this is creating a bad influence on our youngsters”.
Okay I need to stop. But mark my words, this sure is going to be a game changer.
Update : Another friend Onkar, who understandably doesn’t want to be named, adds in a chat conversation :
i remember discussing this with someone
tendulkar’s daughter was born in october 1997 i think, so it would mean conception took place in feb 1997
he was touring WI back then
i think WAGs weren’t allowed then, they started allowing them later i think
He also pasted these 2 links for the more inquisitive among you :
and
Go figure.
In a sign that is symbollic, not just of the on-field change in attitude, but also the off-field, M.S. Dhoni held a press conference and in the sweetest words lamblasted the media for publishing nonsensical allegations of a rift in the team, especially the one between him and Sehwag that’s been doing the circles in all newspapers lately.
I also read a report that after the press conference, he threw a stack of copies of his statement at the mediapersons, lest they might misquote him.
For far too long cricket, Bollywood and politics have been at the mercy of the media. It was time someone took a stand, and cricketers are in the best possible position to do so, for they have a far more direct connection with the general public, unabstracted by the media.
Also check out this piece by noted sports columnist Prem Panicker on the media twisting stories and sentences.
By now you should know that the Sri Lankan team was attacked yesterday unless you are living in a hole or studying at grad school.
I agree with all the condemnation and myself condemn it (if it makes a difference), but why is everyone claiming that sportsmen shouldn’t have been attacked ? Would you rather have the terrorists to go after you, the common man ?
Meanwhile, Mr. Zaid Hamid has been spot on in claiming even before the last bullet was fired that India and RAW were behind the attacks (note the header on this blog, I am not responsible if you fall off your chair laughing). Incidentally, he had also blamed RAW a few days ago when he was in the loo and ran out of toilet paper. For all you Zaid Hamid haters, all I have to show is this video of some traitor Pakistani who has brilliantly mimicked Mr. Hamid (video here and here).
When asked by an Indian news anchor the customary question about how he was feeling, Javed Miandad was audibly upset (it was a telephone conversation you see) as he replied, and I quote, “This is the very incident is the the the unfortunate the for Pakistani cricket”.
A few seconds later, when Imran Khan was asked about his supposed personal guarantee that the terrorists would not attack cricketers, all he had to say was “Hah ! And I never tampered a ball too”.
P.S. : In all seriousness, what the heck did the Sri Lankan cricket board want to prove by visiting Pakistan when both India and Australia had backed out due to security concerns ?
Imran Khan link serparately by Rahul T.
.. loosely translated as “Dad says don’t be an Abhinav Bindra“.
A couple of friends, Onkar and Tushar, have written and recorded this song which makes more sense in light of the recent Padmashri snub to boxers Sushil Kumar and Vijender Singh.
Lyrics are pasted below. Enjoy.
bapu bole beta bindra mat bananaa
ae bapu bole beta bindra mat bananaa
jinhe paes bhupathi bhaatein hain
dhanraaj ke sapane aatein hain
in rahon pe jo jaatein hain
unki kismat me kaatein hain
in raston pe chalke tum pachhataoge
aisa samjhauta tum khudse mat karna
ae baapu bole beta bindra mat bananaa
kal ke jeete aaj ke haare
phirte galiya maare maare
jeete medal bech ke saare
pet na bhar paayega pyaare
jab khukegi neend ye geheri
phoote sapno ke gubbare
khud hi barbadi na likhna
haath ki rekhaon me tere
khel kud se ghar hain kisi ka na chalna
ae baapu bole ….
dhoni bananaa bhajji bananaa
bananaa ho to raina bananaa
IPL agar na pahuncha to
pyaare ICL ko chunana
pichha na chhodenge tera
ban saka jo salil ankola
ball ka magic na chalaa to
pepsi ya phir coca cola
olympic wolon ko ghalib
khud hi kehe gaya hain buddhu
nimboo beche limbaram aur
aam khaye apna siddhu
khelna ho to bas pyaare kirkit khelna
ae baapu bole …
baapu bole beta bindra mat bananaa
khelna hain to bas pyaare kirkit khelnaa
ae baapu bole …
ae baapu bole …
Credits :
Created by: Onkar,
Artist: Tushar,
Written by: Tushar,
Video and co-written by: Onkar.
We had just finished fighting terorism through online petitions and “Say NO to terrorism” forums. Then we started an online petition to switch off our mobiles because someone said Narendra Modi should be the Prime Minister.
We had just returned home tired and hungry after a hard day, when we saw that Sachin Tendulkar was at number 26 in the ICC test rankings. Blasphemy !! So here we go again. The Times of India is of course doing its bit (yeah Deepika is also mentioned there, but can we please focus for now).
I propose starting an online petition against the ICC and a boycott of the official website of the ICC, which by the way has been beautifully designed and has some real candid snaps of some cricketers and Bollywood actresses : Link
Well that was a catch. You weren’t supposed to click on it !
In fact, I propose a ban on people finding out the ratings system that was used to rank the players in that evil list. Oh wait, I hear that is already in effect.
I was so angry with all this that I ventured out on the streets to burn an effigy of the ICC, when I realised I did not know how the ICC looked like.
The MNS is with me in this fight; they are actively scouting for ICC comedians in India.
Meanwhile, Anbumani Ramadoss who has been concerned about the anxiety and stress that such pieces of news cause has proposed a ban on cricketing news being shown on TV. And his son was once hurt in an a street fight over whether he was out or not out, so he plans to seek another ban on cricket being played by more than one person.
Being a rational thinker, I also want to present the other side of the argument which is the wrong side. There are some un-Indian people (like Onkar W) who are trying to make sense out of the whole situation :
The ICC page states what the list is about, The ratings shown are the highest points totals these players have attained and no player is allowed to appear on the list more than once. In other words, it tries to identify which player’s most purple patch was more purple than others’. If that wasn’t simple enough, it tries to rank the most prolific run scoring times of a player, not the players themselves, with the condition that no player can appear more than once. It works over a sliding window, with more recent performances getting significance and performances going out of the window getting less weightage.
Traitors !
So let us unite. If you are with me in this fight, let us show solidarity towards our players and vent out our anger against the ICC by boycotting the use of bats for one day. This day we will not use our bats to play cricket, to beat up people or break windows of western shops like McDonalds and Hallmark. This historic day will be the 29th of next month.
P.S. : Read Disclaimer. And on the subject of online petitions, a good satire here by Gaurav S.
Thanks : Nachiket for correcting the link to the ICC list.
Onkar W writes about his experience while attempting to attend the Ranji trophy final at Hyderabad :
We have always heard what a nightmarish experience watching cricket in India is. The whole experience I had today, just reiterated the fact that the most important stakeholder of the game in India – the cricket crazy audience – is the most ignored as well.
The setting was for the Ranji Trophy finals between Mumbai and Uttar Pradesh at the Rajiv Gandhi Stadium in Uppal, Hyderabad. I am currently working in the Hitech city area, that’s near Kondapur, a good 30 km from the stadium. During my whole trip to India, I have been trying to catch a cricket match of some sort live at the stadium …..
Continue reading here.
Watching it on television is no fairytale experience either. For a glimpse of Mandira Bedi you have to stare helplessly at a rapidly balding Charu Sharma. For a Harsha Bhogle you have to bear with the utterly incomprehensible commentary of Arun Lal and Yashpal Sharma who always hunt in a pair to leave no room for escape. And we don’t even have anything to compensate for the king of cliches Ravi Shastri and Navjyot Singh Sidhu, whose metaphors at times are like an elephant studying algorithms.
Well, life is tough being a cricket fan in India.
