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There was a time back in the ’80s and ’90s when an artiste just wasn’t allowed to suck too badly… The fans would leave them. Now, I don’t think the fans really know the difference. Or they just don’t care.
He is referring to Western music here, but the quote is so apt for Indian music too.
Much of the music of Bollywood last year was terrible that I am still happy with Coke Studio (note to self : write that long-pending post on Zeb and Haniya). Himesh was an okay-ish composer until he took to singing and ruined it for everyone. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy just refuse to budge from their good-but-not-excellent position. Anu Malik can be good, but is hardly consistent to be significant in this debate. Rahman doesn’t come across as the genius whom I used to listen to in awe.
It’s not just film music. There is hardly any popular music besides film music in India. The standards of classical music are way higher which keeps it safe from mediocrity — although exceptions sneak in. I’m not naming names.
I guess we’re to blame. We allowed them to suck so badly.
I reserve the final comment for fusion music. Only a handful of musicians understand what fusion music really is. For the rest, any combination of a drum and one alaap or harkat is fusion. Things are so bad that I am scared when someone recommends a fusion music piece.
Zakir Hussain is one who understands fusion. Shakti is a fine example of fusion of instruments, and his performance at the San Jose Jazz music festival was a fusion of music. Remember Shakti is a good example of not-so-good fusion.
This is the baap of all cop frame-ups in India :
In a desperate attempt to crack a double murder with no eyewitnesses, these policemen planted blood group AB on the weapon of offence thinking it would explain the killing of a man and his wife who had blood groups A and B, respectively.
The fraud was thankfully caught by the high court in its hearing.
I like to root for the underdog, so may I suggest some more frame-up formulae :
Plant a green cloth if the victim and accused were wearing blue and yellow, respectively (if you are a painter and this this is incorrect, get back with the right color combination).
Plant a photograph of the ugly Hutch dog (is it still alive ?) if the victim and accused are fans of Maneka Gandhi and Himesh Reshammiya, respectively.
Plant a URL to my blog if the victim and accused think — and this is a very strange possibility — that Aamir Khan and The Bachchans are over-rated.
OK I’ll stop now.
I’ve been eagerly awaiting rockstar Himesh Reshammiya’s latest movie, Radio, for a long time now. First release after Karzzz, two voices of Himesh, one newcomer actress, actress Shehnaz Treasurywala, Himesh’s music, Himesh’s acting — it was going to be the perfect movie. But as history shows us, having all the bad pieces does not a bad movie make. With a very heavy heart, I must tell you Radio is a huge letdown. The movie was never expected to be great in the literal sense — I hope you already know that — and it lives upto that.
But that’s about it. I expected to derive plenty of guilty pleasure. Radio does miserably at that metric — so much that I had to struggle to watch the entire movie. AND I saw Paa yesterday. Life isn’t worth living now-a-days, I tell you.
I don’t know if I was expecting too much after Karzzzz, but he himself is to blame for setting the bar so high. Radio has some corny lines and laughable metaphors, but they’re all over in the first 10 mins. After that, what you’re left with is a movie that is a neither here nor there.
To be fair to Radio, it has some of the nasal singing, and songs he composes in 4 notes. Mind you, these are not to be confused with songs composed in 3-note ragas by maestros like Illayaraja. But the fun ends there.
Where are the cheesy lines that made you who you are today, Himesbhai ? Where is the, “Jab tum kiss karti ho, to apni aankhen band karti ho.” ?
Where is the ham-acting (I can recall just one such instance) that we so adore ?
Why spoil the fun with that surgery of yours ? After all, we have to endure your non-nasal voice !
Shehnaz Treasurywala acts coy initially; she doesn’t take it to extreme levels of over-acting though. The newcomer Sonal Sehgal is not outright pathetic. The balding Himesbhai had a hair transplant, so nothing to laugh there either. The script is so ridiculous that it left no space for side characters that could be filled with bad actors.
Seriously, how hard is it to give us a bad movie ?
We wait for more than a year, and this is what we get ? You are answerable to your fans, Himesbhai !
After watching Paa and Radio, I’ll have to go with Paa for being a better movie. Atleast it made me laugh at its intended and unintended jokes.
P.S. : Greatbong has reviewed it here. I’m glad atleast someone enjoyed it.
Image courtesy in.com.
If you have AVG antivirus and/or Zone Alarm installed, get rid of them.
They are pure evil.
I spent the last 18 hours recovering from a crash and figuring out the problem which I would have rather spent very happily watching Himesh Reshammiya act (Karzzzzz review here), hearing Mamta Banerjee sing (Video link @ 3.30), making fraandship with Amar Singh, reading Amitabh Bachchan’s blog, washing Pramod Muthalik’s chaddi, debating with people about MNS, spending Valentine’s day with Barkha Dutt and proving to Pakistan that 2 plus 2 equals 4 with credible evidence.
You get the idea.
Kindly go uninstall them.
Meet Coke’s new rival : a soft-drink made of cow urine.
The head of the Hardwar-based department, Om Prakash, said: “We refer to gau ark (cow urine) as gau jal (cow water) as it has immense potential to cure various diseases. We have developed a soft drink formula with gau jal as the base and it has been sent to a laboratory at Lucknow for testing.”
Once the tests show positive results, he added, the department will think about its packaging, preservation and marketing. The Sangh’s Cow Protection Department is planning to produce a soft drink with this magic ingredient as base, and believes it will sweep the market.
I am just curious who they hire as a model in their ads. I call for Himesh Reshammiya !
Link via Pushkar.
The BALeful veteran has finally spoken :
“If they (Hindu terrorists) are (behind the September 29 Malegaon blast), I would be glad. Terrorists should be born among Hindus, I have begun to feel. What was their fault? Something might have been done to take on fanatic Muslims…” (Link)
Blind targetting works well in Unreal, not so much in real.
Referring to the presence of Anil Kakodkar, chairman, Atomic Energy Commission during talks in the South Block, the editorial said India needs to overcome the “fear complex” on account of Pakistan’s nuclear capability and should put full faith in the competence of the three wings of defence forces. (Link)
And I agree. I would have sung this tune too, but only if I was playing Age of Empires and had to deal with trebuchets.
Of course, one instance of Afzal Guru was thrown in to make the article gramatically correct.
P.S. : Valid only for the Afzal Guru case, are we ever going to get an explanation about his case ? And if terrorism has no religion, then why does a terrorist seem to protect the Muslim votes ? Or are we caving in the the high pitched demands of Mehbooba Mufti (Mehbooba and high pitched always remind me of Himesh) and Arundhati Roy, who might have taken a liking to Chinese men after writing her Booker winner.
The question of the hour for India is how can we possibly prove to Pakistan that the captured terrorist is a Pakistani national ?
The Pakistani President and Prime Minister (can someone please tell who exactly are we supposed to deal with ?) have categorically denied it, an old man who allegedly was Kasab father has disappeared and his village claims they have no idea who he is.
The first thing India needs to do is try some of his other names (Azam Amir Kasav, Ajmal Qasab, Ajmal Amir Kamal, Ajmal Amir Kasab, Azam Ameer Qasab, Mohammad Ajmal Qasam, Ajmal Mohammed Amir Kasab or Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasar and Amjad Amir Kamaal : source wikipedia). For all that you know, there could a silly misunderstanding. Assuming this strategy doesn’t work, I have put together a questionnaire that will help us prove beyond doubt if he belongs to Pakistan.
Note : The questions are to be asked in a narco test, which incidentally is the the most popular form of investigation in India.
1. Who runs the government in Pakistan ?
(Guide : If he answers “I have absolutely no @#$@# idea !!!”, he belongs to the rest of the world. Any other answer can and will be held against him.)
2. How much is 72*72/(72+72+exp(72))^72 ?
(Guide : This question completes the jihadist part of the proof.)
3. How would you rate yourself as a patriotic Pakistani jihadist, on a scale of 9 to 10 ?
4. This is a multiple-question choice. Any one can be answered :
What is Shahid Afridi’s age ?
What is Inzamam-ul-Haq’s weight ?
5. Still on the subject of cricket : If Javed Miandad were facing Chetan Sharma again on the last ball of the innings needing six runs to win, who would win ?
(Guide : If he thinks or is not sure, we’ve nailed him ! Any Indian would know the answer : Pakistan)
6. Given a choice between Kashmir and the 72 virgins, what would you choose ?
(Guide : This is a real tricky one. A resident of our neighbouring country would probably choose Kashmir and a jihadist would probably choose the latter option, but only a Pakistani jihadist would choose the hidden third option : I don’t make decisions !)
7. What hair gel does Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari use ?
9. If you were stranded on an island, whom you prefer to have with you : Himesh Reshammiya, Mamta Bannerjee or Uma Bharati ?
(Guide : If he chooses any option, he is a Pakistani. Because an Indian will kill himself but never choose any of them)
And now, the toughest question :
10. What is the relation between 10 inches and Pervez Musharraf ?
(Guide : You perverts, that’s his shoe size !)
I consider myself fortunate to be born an Indian. Among various other reasons, it is the fact that I do not miss out on movies like Gunda, Loha, Aap ka Suroor, Jimmy and the recently released Karzzzzzz (or is it Karzzzz). For the idealistic people, yes I went to a theater to see it; for others, here is the movie.
Some interesting facts about the movie :
1. This has to be the winner. Kamini obviously doesn’t seem to accept the fact that Monkey (Himesh Reshammiya as Monty = Monkey …. or Maa Ki) is the reincarnation of her husband. She challenges him to tell something that only her husband would know of. And Monkey goes :
Jab tum kiss karti ho, to apni aankhen band karti ho.
What the @#$@#$@#$@ !!!!
2. Even in the movie, Monkey plagiarises the song Ek Hasina Thi and struts around as though it was his original composition. Just the fact that the song has more than 4 notes proves that he hasn’t composed it.
3. He claims that the above song is his first song without a nasal voice (Link). Does he even know what we are talking about ?
4. Monkey seems to get hallucinations when he plays “high notes on the guitar” (that is how the Ek Hasina piece is described). Yet when asked to replay that tune, he starts off with string number 6 !!! And doesn’t go beyond the 2nd fret !!!!
5. There is this ultra-magnetic temple (which for no reason is located in some random remote place) which has this tendency to attract planes that hover around it causing them to ultimately crash.
6. For some random reason Princess Kamini doesn’t age at all even though she is mathematically supposed to be around 50 !
7. There is a farmhand (who again for some random reason looks like Subhash Ghai, the maker of the original Karz) who plays an instrument, which has some netherworldly accoustic making it perfectly audible for a few kilometers !
8. Why would a mother cry so much at the loss of someone like Dino Morea ??? At the maximum, she should have prayed for a better actor as her reincarnated son. And even that is not fulfilled; all she gets is Monkey ! I cannot help but pity the mother and comdemn the goddess for her lack of sensitivity.
9. The villian Gulshan Grover doesn’t speak, just punches in some random musical notes in his robotic arm, while his sidekick understands it perfectly. Maybe his sidekick was an alien in Koi Mil Gaya.
10. And of course lastly, Danny Dengonzpa, in the most annoying role of his entire career, starts to reveal a backstory which he had supposedly ‘hidden from the heroine to this day’. Yet in the flashback, he is standing holding her ! (Oh and going to the villian’s home and threatening them, not very wise thinking. It is only in the movies that you are let go alive.)
Update : Greatbong is out with his review : http://greatbong.net/2008/10/22/karzzz-the-reviewwww/
In a landmark judgement, Andhra Pradesh joins the elite group of Tamil Nadu, Kerala and Karnataka in providing 4% reservation to Muslims in educational institutions (Link). While the Constitution of India does not allow for any reservation based on religion, but just to reinforce our belief (or disbelief) as to how easily the judiciary can be twisted, this is how the nod was obtained :
Andhra Pradesh government had argued that the Muslim quota had not been introduced on the basis of religion but because of the social and educational backwardness of the community.
Given this argument, I demand granting reservation in educational institutions to all fans of Himesh Reshammiya ! (based on the argument that a large chunk of his fans are autowallahs (Link), who are socially and educationally backward.)