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I have been expecting some investigative journalism from the Indian media in the Satyam case, but with disappointing results. The fraud is now well established, but taking the news to the next level is investigative journalism. We all know that Mr. Raju is in prison. But moving beyond that :
Who are his inmates ?
What did he have for breakfast ?
What did he have for lunch and at what time ?
Ditto for dinner.
What god is he seeking refuge in after the scam ?
What do handwriting experts have to say about his signature on the resignation letter ?
Now these answers would make us proud of the media, even more than we already are.
P.S. : This is not at all funny if you are one of the 53,000 employees of Satyam. It is sad that they have to suffer for no fault of theirs.
P.P.S. : In case you thought this post was just satire, here are the answers :
For breakfast, 100 grams of `pulihora’ (tamarind rice) and tea.
For lunch, 250 gram of rice, 250 gram of beans and radish curry, rasam and curd. 11 a.m.
For dinner, chicken curry, rice and rasam.
Raju started reading books on Gautam Buddha.
His full signature tells that Raju was not happy about being called Raju. He preferred the first half of his name. The initials, far from indicating high levels of uncertainty, show that he was feeling lighter after getting this off his chest.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t yesterday.
Now imagine a James Hadley Chase (or Dan Brown, for the non-readers) novel with a fast paced jeep chase, action, thrill and drama. Now just for convenience, assume the setting to be in a city in India, say Pune. This is almost exactly what happened yesterday, with one minor difference. The cops were in hot pursuit of the robbers who had escaped after stealing … pigs ! Article here. Here are some MUST READ excerpts :
“The police force across the city was put on alert. During the chase, the suspects threw stones and the stolen pigs at the police vehicle. Meanwhile, several police vehicles joined the chase. At Nal Stop the tempo turned towards Mhatre bridge, and from Dattawadi went to Sinhagad road. The Dattawadi police had blocked the road near Rajaram bridge. But the tempo driver sped over the block and sub-inspector Ramakant Shinde of Dattawadi police station fired a round at the tempo,” Deshmukh said.
Loved the detailing. I could almost reconstruct the chase in my head !
And the final gem :
“At first the thieves pelted stones at my car, damaging its windscreen. Later, they hurled pigs towards us at Chandni Chowk, near Warje octroi post and on Sinhagad road. All the pigs died as they came under the wheels of the police vehicles. They even hit my car twice.”
Nachiket writes in about the hilarity in the Marathi version of the above news at e-sakal :
पोलिस टेंपोचा पाठलाग करीत असताना चोरट्यांनी टेंपोतून दगडांचा पोलिसांवर मारा केला. दगड संपल्यावर त्यांनी पोलिसांना डुकरे फेकून मारली. त्यात तीन डुकरे वाहनांखाली सापडून मरण पावली.
This cannot possibly be translated ! The closest I can write is : In this hurling of pigs at the police jeep, three pigs came under the wheels and ‘passed away’.
So did journalism and law enforcement.
Special thanks to Salil for bringing this article to my notice. Link separately by Nachiket.
Indiauncut notes this after Salil and I gave a tip off.
Gaurav Sabnis writes his version with some after thoughts incuded.
Since everyone was writing about it, I was getting this feeling I wouldn’t be considered a serious blogger if I did not write about this incident.
A few lines from yesterday’s post read :
But a smart move to be in the news, considering the media is a sucker for anything related to Raj; including what he ate for dinner last night – chappati, vegetables, fruits and a cup of tea. I am rather disappointed that TOI did not report whether his digestive system processed the food well.
Today Swapnil P writes in about this article : Link
Thackeray chose to remain constipated all day rather than use the Indian loo.
and the joke’s on me now ! Never underestimate the media, especially Mumbai Mirror.
P.S. : I am sure there are still farmers committing suicide, Dalits being massacared and Christians being killed somewhere. What more, they don’t even have access to a loo !
Amidst all the violence, politics and nonsense that generally clutters the life of an average Indian, this is a moment we all need to be proud of. The launch of Chandrayaan-1, which by definition proves that there are more to follow !
Firstly, about the name; I have heard many variations (which includes one friend referring to it as Chandranarayan) but the right pronunciation is चंद्रयान-1 (Courtesy : Wikipedia).
So we are back to the good old times. Back to kids saying they wanted to become an astronaut; technically weird, since this was an unmanned mission (or maybe being a pilot didn’t seem too attractive courtesy Jet Airways).
Among its other minor achievements are a mention by Barack Obama, a discussion in the Ubuntu Forums (where people are learning about India) and of course, a mention in the Stanford Daily here (information by Raghu).
Chandrayaan-1 had a textbook launch (which lead to one wise person at RDB wonder if there was a textbook inside) but there are serious concerns that it might run into some trouble in space very soon :
Image via email from Tushar B.
But to be honest, I am doubly excited about our forthcoming manned mission to the moon, with the hope that we get to vote whom to pack off.
Yes and to follow the rich tradition of our mostly otherwise media, you can send in your wishes to the ISRO team who made all the Indians proud, by writing in the comments section below !! Let’s write to them and boost their morale !
P.S. : You can also send in your good wishes/messages in case your neighbour’s dog gave birth to a litter, your manager was caught cheating on his wife, India’s victory over Australia in the 2001 Kolkata test and any random occasion. Just like our news channels, I will make sure the concerned party reads it, even if it is a dog.