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A while ago (on the issue of portfolio distribution) :
Mamta Bannerjee : Even if they don’t give us anything we don’t mind that. There was no talk of bargaining. We will work together in a nice way. This is only one word I can tell you.
A while later :
Mamta Bannerjee : Will join cabinet only if I get Railways.
Now before you jump to the conclusion that Mamta Bannerjee is a hypocrite, I have nothing to add. Kindly jump.
Meanwhile, at the same place :
DMK demands 7 cabinet berths; meeting with Pranab inconclusive.
In spite of the DMK not getting its demands, I really hope for his health that M. Karunanidhi does not go on another “indefinite hunger strike onto death” between his two meals.
I do feel sad for the NDA though. With allies like these, their importance as an opposition diminishes.
This has to be the headline of the day :
Okay I don’t really care about the ethics of coalition, ideologies or a stable government.
I am just curious how big their radar is.
Amidst fears that I was a sexist bloke, there was a recent comment urging me to also have a Dudette of the Week title. This has prompted me to come out with a defense for not doing so until now, lest I might alienate the female readership.
First, let us analyze the women in Indian politics. There are essentially three major players. Since all of them are accomplished politicians, it would be unfair to list them by seniority. So in decreasing order of weight, they are J. Jayalalitha, Mayawati and Mamta Bannerjee. Oh and before we proceed, a wag of three of my fingers to them for not marrying until now. With an already skewed sex ratio in the country, such gem of women marrying can only help the cause.
With J. Jayalalitha, no one really cares about her right now. She isn’t in power, no one knows whether she is in the NDA or UPA and her weight trainer is yet to be fired for negligence of duty. Mayawati doesn’t make stupid statements; they mostly fall into the dangerous category (only Raj Thackeray has the dubious distinction of maintaining a fine balance between the two categories).
About Mamta Bannerjee, well, what fun is it in calling a spade a spade ? Apparently, earlier sonograms show her foot in her mouth when she was a foetus.
Then there is the eternal beti Priyanka Gandhi, whose only real claim to infame seems to be wanting to prove in any way possible (ah .. the engineering memories) that Rahul Gandhi is qualified to be PM. Since the qualifications are a measly soundness of mind, we don’t really need you … oh … wait … sorry .. yeah we still need proof.
Lastly, there is Pratibha Patil who I prefer to think doesn’t exist just like ghosts. Incidentally, she thinks otherwise, both about herself and ghosts.
Hence, for want of deserving candidates, the Dudette of the Week title is at present unclaimed and up for grabs (I always wanted to use this cliché).
But in this analysis we are also missing a basic point. When there are men out there making far more funnier and WTF statements, to quote Deepikaji from the Nirma Super ad, “To koi yeh kyun le, woh na le ?”.
So just admit it women, men are better than you !
Also check out this post about the top 10 women politicians of India.
Quotes from a recent interview of Didi where she doesn’t talk about the Nano at all .. okay just kidding.
“Which car I ride is my fundamental right.”
Ummmm .. no. If you are referring to freedom of speech, what you want to say is “Which car I can talk about is my fundamental right”. The answer would be only Nano.
“I think the entire show of the Nano launch is a mere election propaganda. They have sent only three cars to Kolkata. The Communist Party of India-Marxist (CPI-M) cadres are driving them.”
“Now people will book the cars by paying Rs 3,000. Then there will be a lottery, and nobody will get the cars. And then these so called Nano cars will vanish”
Anyway instead of writing more about this, I present a graph.
Comsidering Kerala Chief Minister V S Achuthanandan’s U-turn on the dog comment directed at NSG martyr Sandeep Unnikrishnan (viz. I did not make the dog remark), I propose the need for added traffic metaphors to address the growing pressures of politics and the increasingly complex characters of our leaders, lest the burden always fall on the phrase U-turn.
Thereby, any statement made apologizing for a movie, painting, dress, book and in general any statement made by Harbhajan Singh, Mallika Sherawat or M.F. Hussain would be called a right turn (Right-wing organizations ! Cool, no ?).
Similarly, any statement made by the Congress before the nuclear deal vote and any statement by the BSP after it, would henceforth be referred to as a left turn.
A tailgating driver would be any statement by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. The car ahead is always assumed to be headed to 10 Janpath.
A red car that started years ago with a left then followed it by a U-turn followed by a right followed by a U-turn followed by a halt and now moving in reverse, would be the CPI(M).
A form of driving where you always follow a Big Bmw would be Amar Singh’s quotes.
A driver in the middle of an infinite desert with just one tree in the whole desert and who still crashes into the tree, that would be a statement by R.R. Patil.
A car that cannot go faster than 5 kmph with a horn bigger than the car, that would be the ageing BALeful tiger.
A saffron car with a steering locked in a right-turn position, causing it to just move around in circles, which they would proudly refer to as the Sudarshan chakra, is the RSS.
The media. They don’t drive, nor are they going to learn or own a car. They would be the nagging wife prodding the driver from the passenger seat. (Bloggers enjoy the ride sitting in the rear, then go home and write about both).
A driver hitherto ignored, who bangs into a huge corporate building and in the process of running away crashes into all people living nearby, cries foul over all onlookers, at the end blames the road for everything, and eventually goes back to being ignored, that would be Mamta Didi.
And lastly.
A crazy driver who rams his car into any vehicle not registered at the local RTO ….
I leave that to you.
Disclaimer : Nothing above is to be assumed to be true. And none of the above characters exist. In fact, considering the hits I have been getting from the netherworld, even you might not exist.
