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I saw the 55th Filmfare awards recently. That is one of the reasons I go skiing : if I don’t, I watch such things.

The usual duo — Shahrukh Khan and Saif Ali Khan — hosted it. The show was horrible. It came across as unrehearsed and unpolished. I think that is one of the main reasons why no one takes all the private award show functions seriously. None of them — Screen, Stardust, IIFA, Filmfare (I think I missed a couple) — take themselves seriously, then how do they expect viewers to ?

The Academy Awards, Golden Globes, SAG and all other awards are probably no different then the Indian awards : most of them have a formula and they can be cracked. This can be generalized to any popular award function, because hypothetically speaking, if we had an award that only honoured the absolute best, I don’t think anyone would care about it.

While arguably similar in nature, the respect that the Globes and Oscars get is nowhere close to the Filmfares. The reason (I think) is what I said before — they don’t take themselves seriously. Since last year, there has also been a trend to introduce drama and reality TV into these functions. It started with Sajid Khan and Ashutosh Gowariker last year, and this year, it was a “fight” between SRK and Neil Nitin Mukesh.

I don’t mind good fights on television (the Sajid Khan one is a fine example), but the SRK-NNK one is embarrassing to watch. It was staged, but it wasn’t polished enough to come across as authentic, and it wasn’t crass enough to be obviously in humour. It was just bad.

Oh and for some WTF reason, Filmfare had a lengthy tribute to Michael Jackson. Shahid Kapur (I am guessing he was the youngest boy in Bollywood) performed some MJ numbers, while the crowd looked on cluelessly. Now I haven’t seen a lot of MJ, but Shahid Kapur just came across as wanting to prove some random point to Kareena Kapoor. With his ever bulging biceps, he is going down the path of Sunny Deol rather than Michael Jackson. Only an elastic body or some young boys can save him now.

Incidentally, Shahid Kapur’s biceps are still smaller than Vidya Balan’s.

Update : A friend reminds me that the Bachchans did not attend the Filmfares. It had to do with the Mumbai Mirror incident, although I don’t know what the exact connection is. All I can say is I missed the Bachchans thing that they do at award shows.

Remember the age old saying, “It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubts”.

Sample this hilarious piece.

The gist of the story is :

Farah made a statement in the media that she rated Manoj Kumar’s film, Clerk as “a treasure chest of ham scenes”.

And Manoj Kumar replies he isn’t a pig :

Reacting angrily to Farah’s statement, Manoj Kumar said, “Ham means pig. I am still a student of …..

For Mr. Kumar, hamming is defined thus :

ham – overact: exaggerate one’s acting

To be fair, I think it was Sajid Khan who popularized the use of the word hamming while referring to old Hindi films on his show Kehne Mein Kya Harz Hai. Thanks to him, today I have a word in my vocabulary to describe every second performance I see in Hindi films. And yes, the list includes many stars who are considered great actors. Surely there are two sides to every argument, my side and the wrong side.

Okay enough Colbertism.

The latest addition to reality TV is the 15th annul (sorry annual) Star Screen Awards with the controversy surrounding Ashutosh Gowarikar taking on Sajid Khan for making fun of film-makers during the show.

Following this, Akshay Kumar rejected his Star Screen award for Popular Actor as he thought Aamir Khan deserved it.

I do not take sides in reality TV fights. I am just glad there are 2 sides so that people can fight more efficiently. In fact, I would like to have more sides.

But whatever happens : You cannot reject a STAR SCREEN AWARD FOR POPULAR ACTOR !!!

For people who think that reality TV in India is hardly even real : I know this might sound untrue but a few days back I had a fight with a friend and believe me, everything went black and white, I could hear thunder and lightning in the background plus I could feel camera closeups all over !

I am just waiting for reality TV to take over our news channels. How we would love a catfight between Barkha Dutt and Sagarika Ghose over who gets to ask a victim, “How are you feeling ?”.

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