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Hindustan Times has a news article with the headline : Indians will be fined for celebrating their unique culture: SA leader

The article says :

It is fine for the Indian Diaspora to celebrate their unique culture as it contributes to the development of the other communities in their home countries as well, premier of KwaZulu-Natal province in South Africa has said.

Someone confused fine and a fine. But that’s okay; they are practically the same word. No ?

This is another one of those ‘study’s that Times of India thrives on :

Sex before 15, girls pip boys: Study

ToI announces that ‘this could come as a shocker for those resisting introduction of sex education in Indian schools’.

Let’s analyze this conclusion.

Say an X number of boys have sex just after 15. Statistically speaking, the girls will be younger than them. So the number of girls having sex before 15 will be approximately equal to X (unless the boys are doing it with each other). Now for this conclusion, we need that the number of boys having sex before 15 should be less than the number of boys having sex just after 15. This is again fairly obvious, as there is no reason why there should be a drop in the statistic around the age of 15.

So there, you have a fairly obvious conclusion wrapped in a story that makes it sound like a shocker.

*****

Tomorrow’s study : Dogs more receptive to Lata Mangeshkar’s singing than Pandit Bhimsen Joshi’s singing.

I heard a rumour of this happening, but today, Cafe Pyala confirmed the collaboration of Times of India Group and Jang Group (of Pakistan) — both media houses on either side of the border — to deliver and share content that facilitates cross-border news transfer that is unbiased and not rhetorical. It’s a great move and a positive sign, atleast for India. Pakistan, on the other hand, will now get news the ToI style. Good luck with that !

Amitabh Bachchan is reportedly the brand ambassador for this collaboration, and wrote this at his blog :

“Their media and our media will through the medium initiate cross over efforts to hold hands, to exchange views and ideas of how to extend our understanding with each other, to build bridges when all else is falling apart,” Big B wrote on his blog.

I’m switching gears now. What is it with Indians and holding hands ?? India is probably the only country where grown up men who are not gay do not find anything wrong with holding hands ! It is still okay if done within national borders, but taking such ideas to the U.S. is just catastrophic.

I once went for a concert with a couple of acquaintances — let’s call them A and B — and B had this habit of holding hands .. with friends .. who were guys .. and he had a girlfriend so we can rule out the gay thing. I quickly excused myself into the crowd only to meet them after the concert. I later caught up with A and asked him what the hell was wrong with B.

A : Yeah, he does that. I’ve told many times not to hold hands in public places, but he doesn’t listen.

All I could say was : WTF !

The latest and biggest news from India has been first reported by IBNLive :

Anil, Mukesh shake hands at Advani meet.

The Times of India too reported it after some delay : Ambani brothers shake hands at Advani’s residence.

They then apologized to each other for the bitter demerger and family feud and proceeded to announce the highly unanticipated merger of Reliance Industries and Anil Dhirubhai Ambani group of industries.

Oh no wait, they just shook their hands. And put it back in their pockets.

IMP : One more hint that the Indian elections are going to be borrowing heavily from the American elections. The news anchor for Times of India in the above link, for some vague reason, refers to LK Advani as the BJP Presidential candidate ! Video here.

Special thanks for Onkar for the above link.

If you ever think that journalism in India has fallen to a new low, think again. The latest comes from, not surprisingly, Times of India, in an update on Amitabh Bachchan’s health :

Our inside sources say that Bachchan has not passed stool as yet.

Apparently, they have some sources inside the loo !!

Link by Raghu.

While I do know that aliens have attacked India and are kidnapping cows (click on the rectangles for images), I would rather target things that are within my dignity thresholds.

The background being a student was severely beaten up by his physical education teacher for trying to use the RTI act to know his examination marks. The story ends with :

Jai Singh Yadav, when asked if he had indeed beaten the student, said: “I didn’t do anything at all.” He even threatened the reporter with dire consequences for reporting the incident.

Well, he looks like a nice peace loving person to me.

P.S. : TOI back with Mallika Sherawat hallucinating about Madhumala with the lines :

Was the Bollywood hottie hallucinating? Or is Madhubala’s spirit still with us? Watch this space …

Yes, because that is true journalism.

Edit : Raghu points out something I overlooked.

And she was dressed in Anarkali’s costume (designed by Ashley Rebello) when she took her break and fell asleep.

Digging deep into facts, well they atleast have their basics right.

The quote of the day belongs to Eesha Koppikhar, who incidentally was one of the judges at the Miss Universe contest.

When Miss USA tripped and fell on stage, I gave her more points because it’s not how you fall but how you get up and she did that gracefully.

Maybe that is why the Miss USA’s keep falling down year after year. The article ends with her reminiscing :

“I remember when I had not won, Manpreet Brar had come up to me and told me that I’m one of the prettiest girls in the contest and I would go a long way,” she adds. Some predictions do come true !

Really ? If that prediction had come true, she wouldn’t have had to make her spelling so confusing that I had to copy paste her name. And if you noticed, the last line was gracefully added there by TOI.

P.S. : Officially added a new category called “Times of India”.

While TOI impressed us with its creative writing yesterday, today it is math : Link

A month ago, Cognizant created a record of sorts by hiring 1,103 students. This is considered to be the largest ever single campus recruitment by a company, overtaking TCS feat of picking 1,975 students from the VIT University earlier this year.

While I was never a big fan of the of the articles in Times of India, this must surely be the worst thing ever published by the Times of India : Link

Titled as “Comma Sutra” (how naughty), the author rambles on and on about the importance of a, you guessed it right, COMMA ! So while you ponder if the author is some descendant of Vatsyayana courtesy page 63 of Vatsyayana’s book, he justifies the title :

The crying need, therefore, is a comically illustrative work titled ‘Comma Sutra’ which can nestle close to Vatsyayana’s ‘Kama Sutra’ in a bookshelf on the simple premise that both deal with positions.

I did not see that coming !

Happened to chance upon this piece of news : Link

Read this line and you know that commercialization is here to stay!

An air hostess with a low-cost airline committed suicide at her room in a Juhu-based five-star hotel on Saturday.

Conclusions :

The airline name which would be mentioned later in the article is really cheap compared to other airlines BUT they do take care of their employees and pay them handsomely because she could afford to stay in a five-star hotel (“HER room”), which in turn surely offers ocean view apartments considering it is located in Juhu. Lastly, note how cleverly the word “hotel” is highlighted to point to some ad.

Brilliant !

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