I’m rethinking all things society after returning back. In society, most of your life is decided the moment you are born: study, marry, conceive, retire, die. I introduced a Why at various phases of a normal life, and have some views to share on marriage, love, partners, monogamy, children, etc.

These are all very different terms, each with a specific meaning. For most they follow an obvious sequence separated only by time. If you’re one of those, this post might confuse you, or even worse: It might appeal to you.

Marriage earlier (after modern society became integral to man) implied love, monogamy and being partners — that is, the fact that you married someone implied the rest of it. Then ‘love marriages’ became popular, and I heard ‘The only reason to marry someone should be love’.

Bollocks.

Let’s back off a bit and think of what really implies what. (Spoiler: None of those words imply any of the other.)

Love.

Love doesn’t imply marriage. Love doesn’t even imply monogamy. Love doesn’t imply being partners.

Love could lead to being partners, but that’s a choice you make.

Love could lead to marriage; that’s again a choice.

Love usually implies monogamy, but you shouldn’t assume. It is possible to be in love with multiple people at the same point of time. So go ask your husbands/wives/girlfriends/boyfriends/chocolates (I heard from someone that they looove chocolates) whether they are referring to monogamous love or polygamous love. Now you wouldn’t want a relationship (you worked so hard on) to wither away because you misunderstood a term, do you?

Monogamy.

Monogamy generally implies love or the fact that you are stranded on an island with someone (if there are animals on the island, this reason is out too.)

Monogamy could lead to marriage more easily than love.

Being partners/living together.

Living together could imply love or marriage.

Or that you are roommates.

Children.

Here are the reasons why people have kids:

1. That’s what everyone does. To be honest, this reason makes the most sense to me.

2. You had much fun with your new wife, and now are not sure what to do with her.

3. You are the wife, and after a few years of marriage (and having the perfect life you had imagined until now), hit a roadblock. A child seems to be the ticket out of the mess, or at the very least will keep you busy enough to not think about the roadblock.

4. You’re ready to be a parent. Yep, you become a parent because you think you’re ready now. It it not unlike jumping off a building because you think you’re ready to fly. Ask a parent.

5. You believe that you have the means to create a new life and parent it. Most couples have to overdo for the first bit, and overdo the second.

6. Having a kid brings happiness. Those who think this are selfish enough to bring a life into existence and make it run a rat-race for 70 odd years in a society that is anything but beautiful. It is the uncomfortable, naked truth.

If you have a different and compelling argument for having kids, please write back.

Update: A few millennia ago, evolutionary psychology would have been the only reason to have children. But I left it out, because it is ‘the’ reason anymore. (If it were, men would be impregnating far more women.) Men don’t need to spread their seed, and couples make conscious and informed decisions about having children. Indeed, many couples also choose not to have children.

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As for marriage, the only reasons I have come up with are tax exemption, visa and official paperwork.

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Disclaimer: I never said I haven’t or will not take part in any of the above concepts.

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