Offensive symbols.

The Hindu reports :

Hindu Jagran Manch and other Hindu organisations have objected to allotment of “elephant ” as an election symbol to any political party and have urged the Election Commission to withdraw it. 

Why, an ignorant non-practising Hindu may ask.

“Hindus rever elephant as Lord Ganesha and its use in election provides scope to political parties to use it for sloganeering and its akin to degrading the god thereby hurting the religious sentiments of Hindus, Misra said.

In view of the forthcoming elections, allow me to analyse the election symbols of the major political parties to help make them controversy-free :

Elephant (Bahujan Samaj Party) : Offensive to Hindus, unless it is not referring to the animal but the party leader.

Lotus (BJP) : Offensive to all politicians … err .. make that all fools (phools).

Hammer, sickle, star and pickle (Communist Party of India, Marxist) : Who cares about them ? No one even noticed that I added a pickle there.

Clock (NCP) : Offensive to all Indians. We don’t run by some western instrument, we listen to our heart (which normally runs 15 minutes later than the clock).

and lastly, 

Hand (Congress) : Offensive to all single, unmarried guys.

Bobby bombs.

.. and not just bombs, he almost suicide-bombs.

When I was back home, Bobby Jindal was one American politician the media reported eagerly about, considering he was of Indian origin. I had heard a few flattering things about him and was eager to see him perform on the national scene. That happened yesterday when he delivered the Republican response to President Obama’s address to a joint session of the Congress. Unfortunately, he cleared all doubts.

Firstly, was it just me or did everyone burst out laughing at his tone ? Unless he was trying to convince a class of kindergarteners, there is some serious problem with it (watch the video here).

Then came the WT# moment (full transcript here):

As I grew up, my mom and dad taught me the values that attracted them to this country, and they instilled in me an immigrant’s wonder at the greatness of America. As a child, I remember going to the grocery store with my dad. Growing up in India, he had seen extreme poverty. And as we walked through the aisles, looking at the endless variety on the shelves, he would tell me: “Bobby, Americans can do anything.” I still believe that to this day: Americans can do anything.

I am sure America’s claim to fame are those 10 varieties of Lays’ chips. 

Plus there were the classic Republican gaffes, this time in reference to ‘volcano monitoring’ and one completely orthogonal Hurricane Katrina reference, if not self-destructive.

Ok I admit I might be biased, but you know you have touched your nadir as a Republican when Fox News pans you !

Tch tch.

Hate crime.

As someone who assumed the Bay Area was insulated from hate crimes and crazy gun-wielding maniacs, this news did startle me : 

Police said four victims had left a bar and were walking to their  car in a parking lot in the 200 block of Castro Street when they were  approached by two female suspects.

The suspects harassed the victims, who were speaking Hindi, and  made racially charged comments about their ethnicity and the language they  were using, police said.

The two female suspects allegedly approached a female victim and  began punching and slapping her. When the victim’s husband intervened, a  group of four to six male suspects appeared, dragging the husband away from  his wife, police said. The suspects then began to punch and kick the husband. Two other male victims attempted to intervene but were also  punched, police said.

Anyone who lives around the Bay Area would know of Castro St. which puts the news in a non-“I don’t care” perspective. Fortunately, I haven’t been a victim of any hate crime and all the people I have encountered have been more than just courteous (either that or I am living in a hole); although I must add that sadly, all it takes is one incident to change your views. Addy, a batchmate at Stanford, writes about the aforementioned incident and some of his experiences :

But, there was this time in San Francisco’s Tenderloin district when a man pulled a gun on me for being “Muslim”. When I told him I wasn’t “Muslim” with my arms raised, he insisted “Don f@#k wid me ya f@#king muddaf@#ker. Ya look like one of dem Muslims. I don’t like ya muddaf@#kers terroristing all over da world.” … continued here.

Link via Raghu.

How to get an IIM.

Simple. Bribe a typist. 

In the recent budget speech, Mukherjee had said that the new Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs) were to come up in Haryana, Rajasthan, Jharkhand and Tamil Nadu. However, Mukherjee later said he was informed that there was a typographical mistake made by the HRD ministry and these institutions were to come up in Haryana, Chhattisgarh, Jharkhand and Tamil Nadu. 

This, however, led to strong protests in Rajasthan and MPs from the state raised the issue in the ongoing session of Parliament.

“The HRD ministry has rectified the mistake. As announced, we will now take action to set up an IIM in Rajasthan also,” acting finance minister Pranab Mukherjee said in Rajya Sabha on Wednesday. 

All that stands between a state and an IIM is a sincere typist.

Dude of the week.

This  dude of the week is literal.

We all know that Obama religiously works out everyday. It was but natural that Mr. L.K. Advani would follow suit.

Senior BJP leader LK Advani on Friday showed that he is fit to lead the country by trying his hand at dumbbells and weights at the new gymnasium developed by the civic body in Vadaj area in Ahmedabad.

Details follow :

He picked up two one-kg dumbbells and lifted them above his shoulders, both his hands up in the air. Advani also flexed his muscles with some shoulder crunches at the gymnasium. He then jogged to Pakistan, uprooted a hand pump and bashed up all Pakistani actors who were not in government jobs.

Well not the last line, but the rest is true. I have video proof.

I never expected Mr. Advani to be all about brawn. Maybe because I always thought he resembled Chacha Chaudhari (or is it just me ?). Now wouldn’t it be cool to have an election poster that says “Shri L.K. Advani’s brain works faster than a non-Hindu”.

(For people who do not yet see the obvious plagiarism of campaigning, have a look at a previous article here. Another recent speech of his read “India’s problems need Indian solutions” which bears an uncanny resemblance to an Obama speech)

Politics and metaphors.

Check out some awesome metaphors used recently :

Mayawati is the ‘new-age Shahjahan’, says BJP.

Young Congress men are fish in aquarium: Modi

Cong calls Modi a piranha.

I sincerely request you to tone down the intellect and dumb down the metaphors. After all, we are the people who believe that Slumdog’s success was your achievement and Ram Mandir is the most important issue.

Noida after-effect.

So what does the common man do after the Noida MMS scandal rocks India ?

Protest against the influx of western culture ? (whatever that means)

Protest against the guy who forwarded the MMS ?

Comdemn the girl for her ‘character’ ?

Nah.

Instead, India goes searching for the MMS clip !

I don’t have any serious take on the issue except that if you really like shooting videos, you might want to consider applying to FTII instead of wasting your talent and bearing the brunt of nation-wide condemn.

But Preity Zinta has written a scathing piece that starts with :

I think one of the most important things is common sense. I believe girls are blessed with loads of common sense, but very few use it. My own common sense rules for me.

If those lines did not put you off, she makes some valid if not already obvious points.

Image Courtesy : SpeakIndia, their post here.

Tahaan – movie review.

Tahaan is the eponymous story of an innocent kid and his pet donkey, Birbal, in the violence-torn heaven on earth, Kashmir. Written, directed and shot by Santosh Sivan, it is a simple story of how Tahaan has to let go of Birbal when the family gives it away to the moneylender in lieu of debt, and his quest to get it back. Along the way everyone else is just a prop, his family, friends, strangers, army men and even militants. That is all I would want to reveal to you about the story. Do watch this movie if you get a chance. It deserves to be seen.

The movie is not as entertaining as it is engaging but has some really nice moments without being fast paced. It unravels at its own pace, with the camera viewing and absorbing every breathtaking shot it is offered. With master cinematographer Santosh Sivan at the helm, be assured that even when nothing is happening on screen, you can just stare at every frame.

The music by Taufiq Qureshi is raw, folksy, different and mostly percussions, but it complements the movie very well. No songs, just background score.

Among the actors, Victor Banerjee is affable in his cameo as Tahaan’s grandfather, Anupam Kher is quite decent as the eccentric merchant, Rahul Bose is perfect in his role as a simpleton but Sarika impresses most as Tahaan’s mother, who is just a mute spectator to most incidents, both literally and figuratively. Probabaly only Sarika could have pulled this off, emoting every feeling through just eyes and body language, from being stern to loving to helpless.

Of course, the winner in the movie is Purav Bhandare playing Tahaan (I would rate this performance higher than Darsheel Safary in TZP although I do not know how politically correct it is to compare child actors in the first place). His inquisitiveness, his innocence, his love for Birbal, his relationship with his mother none of these ever seem like acting. And therein lies the power of this movie.

Santosh Sivan is quite a master at handling child actors; except for the irritating kid from Asoka (who by the way, has a cameo in Tahaan too) most of his child actors have been ably directed by him.

On that note I leave you with this simple but beautiful short film by Santosh Sivan, Prarambha, one of the 4 awareness movies that were part of the “AIDS Jaago” campaign, the other three by Mira Nair (Migration), Vishal Bhardwaj (Blood Brothers) and Farhan Akhtar (Positive). It is in Kannada, with English subtitles.

Part 2 :

I think Prabhudeva might just have been under-utilized as an actor all this time.

Pehchaan kaun ? (Guess who ?)

Any guesses who would have said the following lines :

“Aam admi” (common man), the Congress mascot in the last elections, has been well looked after in the last five years.”

.. the UPA government has “acted on nearly all the commitments made to the people”.

.. the people measure government not on the basis of what it says but on the basis of what it does, “in a democracy, government is measured on a simple maxim- aam admi ko kya mila? (What the common man has got?)”

..  noted that when democratic, secular, progressive forces came together in this government, it sought to make itself accountabe to the people through a National Common Minimum Programme (NCMP).

“Today, after close to five years in office, my government believes that it has acted on nearly all the commitments made to the people through National Common Minimum Programme”,

.. “our functioning democracy has set for my government exacting standards to judge its performance”.

Contrary to expectations it is not one of the sycophants from the Congress. The one showering lavish praises on ‘my government’ is, unfortunately, ‘my President’.

Fodder for trains.

This is a slightly delayed post on the Railway budget. Check out this WT# news :

In his interim Railway Budget for 2009-10, Lalu announced the extension of 2187/2188 Jabalpur-Mumbai-Jabalpur biweekly Garib Rath Express to Allahabad. The trouble, however, is that the Jabalpur-Mumbai-Jabalpur Garib Rath does not exist ! 

Atleast he is the only minister in the cabinet who is trying to improve himself. Don’t forget his modest beginning with a fabrication of mere cows and buffaloes. He has come a long way, I must say.